One day at a time

 My life is frustrating at the moment.  Work is frustrating with some many tasks and not enough time to do the tasks I want to do rather then those that others need to get done. Social life is frustrating as I find little to interest or motivate me, and even though there are things I could or even should be doing, they are of little interest to me. I want to change but I can't be motivated to do anything about it, so even though I find work and life generally frustrating, it's not enough to prompt me to make the effort to change anything. I think when you've been used to a certain level of pain for a along time, you don't really notice it any longer. Maybe something will happen that will push me to make a change, I don't think I am in a good place at the moment. I should be living well, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about it all being taken away. This isn't a ply for help, I just thought it would help for me to write it down and I can come back to t...

 Working from home is getting me down and I told my manager during my mid-year performance discussion. He was not surprised given how long this has been going on and that I am living on my own. I visited my relative’s home to check up on it while she is away and it was nice to go for a drive. Unfortunately, Sunday has not gone to plan, as I am ill again. I have decided to have a weekend away in Sydney in April but avoiding Easter weekend as most places are dead one that long weekend.

 I continue to go through the routine of sitting at the computer every day for work and trying to find something to fill my evenings and weekend. The planned break this week, to visit my elderly relative in her care home was knocked for 6 by another COVID case at the care home (and the cancellation of all visits). This week I have left the apartment only a handful times, either to go food shopping or to pick up deliveries. I have been quite proud that I have been able to assemble the new scratching tree and monitor riser myself. I was nice to go shopping with a friend last weekend, but that's not happening this weekend. My friend as recommended that I see a professional to see if they can help my mood.

Whilst the year number changes, life continues to be stuck in a perpetual ground hog day. Working from home continues and new record numbers of infections, hospitalisations and unfortunately deaths occur on a daily basis. I’ve created quite a comfortable cave to hide away from it all and seldom venture out, really only for necessaries (assuming the local supermarket hasn’t run out of them). I miss my chats with my father, even though we didn’t say much it was someone I spoke to on a regular basis, that wasn’t related to work. Although I did enjoy (usually) chatting to work colleagues, it reminds me that I am not the only one stuck at home. I have an elderly relative in residential care and the care home has been hit by a COVID outbreak, thankfully not in the section my relative is in but it does mean that we can not visit her and have to rely on interacting via video calls. On the whole, Victoria has few restrictions, apart from wearing masks indoors. So I guess for a lot of people lif...

Managed to get away from Melbourne for a long weekend in Adelaide, even though we had get a COVID test on arrival (it came back negative). But I have been having issues with my phone not accepting authorising sms which caused issues when I arrived. The weather has been terrible, cold and wet but it has been delightful to be able to go somewhere  different. Melbourne has now gone into lockdown, but Adelaide is still relatively open. A friend is staying in my apartment while I am away to look after my cat although the cat isn't being that friendly.

Here we are again, lock down!! Although it has a new name - Circuit Breaker! 7 days across the whole state of Victoria, so back to working at home and not going out further than 5 km for shopping. It is disappointing, although not surprising that we have gone back to another lockdown. After spending a day in the office having to wear a mask, stay at home is much more preferable and I am glad that I don't have to use public transport at the moment. I will be taking a care package to my elderly aunt to make sure she is okay during the lock down (sorry I mean circuit break!). Work is remarkably slow at the moment, in a normal year I would have been in the UK by now and I usually take around a month off work, but at the moment, it looks like even my trip to Hobart later this month is in doubt, depending on what Tasmania does when the lock down (circuit break) is lifted. There is no point going down there if we are required to quarantine for longer than the planned break. We've had ...

 Further restrictions were eased for the weekend and masks are only required to be worn in certain situations (e.g. public transport and shopping centres). So I won't need to wear one if I go to work, which I had planned to do this week but was unwell again, so worked from home instead. Work is getting me down again (feeling lonely again), not big but there are one or two issues linked to other departments and getting agreement on how to treat some items. I am going to take next Friday off work and extend a already long weekend, with a public holiday on Monday. Plan to go shopping this weekend and try to fix my faulty extractor fans, hopefully its just a matter of replacing them. I got some good news, the credit card I applied for has been approved, although I have not received anything from the bank (e.g. email) to say I have been accepted, I discovered that I could finally log on to their online banking service. I found a use for the funds I had stuck in Skrill, although I probab...

 Thankfully the snap lockdown was only needed for 5 days and as of Thursday we were free again (although with some restrictions). Hopefully I will be able to return to the office again next Tuesday, although the wearing of masks is still required indoors except when eating and drinking. I had my semi-annual performance discussion with my manager and he was very positive about me and I will be put on higher duties while one of my colleagues is absent from the team. I have a couple of important meetings coming up early next week, whilst trying to make sure that the businesses have all updated their budget data. A few have already said they will miss the deadline. I had a nice time with my aunt at lunch at the weekend and although the food she choose wasn't to her liking, my meal was very nice. I took my cat to the vet on Friday, he had stopped using one of his litter boxes and wasn't using the other one that much. The vet could not find anything to explain the behaviour and the c...

 Just when you think its looking like we're heading back to something like normality, COVID has a trick up its sleeve (or should that be in its DNA). After a number of cases of the UK variant linked to hotel quarantine have surfaced in Melbourne, the whole State has been put in Stage 4 (the highest) lockdown for five days from from the beginning of the weekend. So my plans to go out and have lunch with my aunt went out the window, thankfully she understood why I had to cancel meeting up over the weekend. The news did really hit me on Friday afternoon and especially since I had just started going back in the office one day a week, which won't be happening next week. The trip into the Central Business District was fine, apart from the need to change trains since the introduction of new timetables which means none of the Frankston line trains now go to Parliament station. The train was reasonably quiet until it got to Richmond station, when my carriage got a little crowded. The of...

 After one case of locally transmitted COVID-19, the requirement to wear masks inside has been reinstated (e.g. including offices and places of work). It had been confusing when masks had to be worn, so this makes it simple again - everywhere inside. Got the cat back, he began to misbehave at my friend's place, so I went to pick him up and bring him home. He hasn't done anything out of the ordinary since I brought him back but it has only been a few days. Looks like I will need to go into the city on Tuesday if I want to take part in the radio program. It was difficult to do when I was remote, I wasn't sure when I was able to speak so we will only do the program from the studio (unless the rules change again about being in groups). Might see if I can work from the office on Tuesday, since I need to go into the city to work on the radio program.

Spent the beginning of this week away in country Victoria in Ballarat and it was very pleasant although it was also hot. I took my cat to stay with a friend for a couple of weeks to see how they both deal with it. I am missing the cat so will be very happy to have him back soon. Went to see my elderly aunt over the weekend and we went out for lunch. It was a big meal for her but she managed to get through it eventually.  The radio show I volunteer on is going back into the studio from next week. I'm not keen on going into the CBD just for it and will see how it goes doing it remotely.  Work has been frustrating which is a common problem recently. 

From next week, 25% of the public service will be allowed to return to the office, but at the moment there is no indication what that means for my department, division, group or team. Not that I will be in a rush to return to the office, I am sure that work station is covered in dust and with my food intolerance kicking off again, its easier to cope with that at home than in the office. Victoria has had nine days with no locally transmitted cases of COVID-19, whereas the UK is still averaging over 40,000 a day (I know different population sizes). Still no word on which vaccine will be approved in Australia, but at least the roll out of it (which ever gets approved) will start in February. My work is also getting busier has we collect information for the net publication, plus gather new information about what the entities have in their contracts, apparently it could affect how they report their income. I have been for walks three times this week, which is a first for many weeks. I did a...

 Returned to work (at home) this week and although I started off the week feeling miserable, it gradually improved over the week. Had an online catch up with most of my colleagues on Wednesday which was nice to see them and hear what they had got up to over the break. There wasn't much in the way of work to apart from preparing for the next two publications (which unfortunately overlap slightly). I washed the car and also drove down to see my aunt. I am enjoying driving this car and not that didn't enjoy the previous one, it is nice to know that if I put my foot down, this one will respond immediately not gradually like the previous car. Decided to go away from the next public holiday, staying in Victoria (as the borders keep opening and closing unpredictably). I have booked my cat back into the cattery as he didn't seem to be too distressed by the last visit. My UK family are now in full lockdown although my father has had the first of his two vaccine injections (my sister...

The end of 2020 came and went, and 2021 is much the same. There is the promise that 2021 will be better than 2020, with multiple vaccines against COVID-19 being approved and Brexit finally settled (in the most part). I expected to have a quiet week, but it has been quieter than planned due to on-going issues with my food intolerance, which has planned up virtually every day this week. I did manage to got shopping further away from home and I travelled by train (only a couple of stops and there were very few on the train) as well as going for a drive back to where I used to live closer to the city. My relatives in the UK are now under Tier 4 restrictions (which are basically lock down) with only essential shops open (although they seem to have an odd definition of essential) and no-one allowed to mix in the house. I was impressed by the London firework display organised by the BBC although I'm saddened by some of the comments posted under the video on YouTube, unfortunately racism c...

 Not a relaxing week, with lots of driving and seeing relatives and friends (next week is going to be my down time). Finally heard officially that I didn't get the promotion, but I will get the opportunity to act in a higher position in the new year. My director rang me on Christmas Eve, so not the Christmas present I was hoping for, but it wasn't unexpected. Wednesday I brought my aunt up to my place to meet the cat (who was terrified by the meeting) and to hand her over to my cousin, who she was going to be staying with over the next few days. I was delayed getting down there but it all came together. The only other issue was that I managed to get sun burnt on my  head (which is very uncomfortable). Christmas Day I went with my friend to a Christmas dinner put on by some of his friends and had a nice time. Boxing Day will be spent with the family at one of their homes. My dad had a busy Christmas Day, with visits from his friend Gwen and my sisters for the exchange of gifts ...

 Although it was a short week, it of course got very busy on the last day. I had been waiting for something to be approved by another part of the department so I could then get a message approved to send out to the businesses. Which naturally occurred just hours before I was due to go on leave, thankfully I was prepared, even though it was a bit of rush (hopefully there were no typos in the message). Work has finished for me until the new year and it looks like we will finally be able to return to the office sometime in January or February. Still waiting to hear the outcome of my interview for the position (promotion) in my team and the longer it takes the more confident I become that I didn't get the position. On the upside, at least on this occasion I was  able to get an interview (the two previous attempts, that did not happen), so maybe I have got better at applying for positions. Had my second Christmas meal, with friends at their home. It was a very nice spread, with col...

 Melbourne and Victoria are now technically free of COVID-19 after 28 days of zero cases, of course that does not mean that it has been eradicated only that no one has tested positive (someone could have it and not realise). Restrictions continue to be relaxed and masks only need to be worn inside buildings and where social distancing can not been achieved (i.e. public transport). Whilst on the other side of the planet, my UK family are holed up under a lock down , that is due to lift on 2 December, although they will then be under the third (and highest) tier of the new restrictions for England. Over Christmas, these restrictions are going to be eased, but my Dad is planning to stay home - the virus doesn't care its Christmas and will spread given the chance. The Budget product was delivered by the State Government and my work has become very quiet. I'm preparing for the next set of products that will start in January 2021. I am going to be taking a week away from work, I'...

Three weeks with zero cases, that's good going. I've booked a weekend away in regional Victoria and I'm looking forward to the change in scenery more than anything else. I have decided to purchase a new car, I am staying with Suzuki but returning to their Swift model. The old car is being traded-in and I plan to pick up the new vehicle early in December. It's probably the most expensive online shopping I have ever done. As far as I can tell, my involvement in the budget product is almost at an end, I've been volunteered to be available when the budget is released to be on hand to answer questions, but other then that it all seems to be very quiet. Started working on the next two products (they tend to run into each other) and the information for these will be collected in 2021. Will have to see how that runs as a number of the businesses I deal with are going to close down between Christmas and New Year, but they are expected to respond to our requests very shortly ...

 Further relaxation of the restrictions means that we can travel anywhere is the State and I have booked a weekend away in the Yarra Valley, mainly just for a change in scenery. Work was frantic this week, had to move the main meeting on the budget product and then an issue came up in the meeting that had to be dealt with immediately. Thankfully it was sorted out quickly and in the end there were other adjustments that also had to be put into the system. I spent Friday updating all the reports and presentation with the new "final" numbers. I was completely over work by the end of the week, but had to put that aside to think about applying for a new higher position in the team (there is no promotions in the public service). Reading the key selection criteria, I clearly meet more than 70% of it but it depends on who else applies for the position and whether they hit more of the criteria. I don't have a good track record of success applying for jobs in department, the last f...

 The good news about the infections in Melbourne continues with several days with zero infections and also zero deaths related to COVID-19. This week would normally be one of parties as it was Melbourne Cup week, but even though there have been relaxation of some rules, mass gatherings are still banned. I worked for part of the Melbourne Cup public holiday, I still have to prepare for meetings coming up in a few weeks, although I did go shopping for a break and took the car to one of the open air retail parks (I'm still not keen on going to a shopping centre at the moment). I'm keen to buy a new car, although I'm not sure why. My current car is coming to the end of its warranty period, so it would be nice to have a new car with a warranty. I took a day off work to visit my aunt and attend a meeting with her and my cousin about a home care package that is available to her. I don't think she understood what was being explained to her as she was making jokes rather than as...